We’ve lived in Arizona for almost two decades. We’ve been in the same house, a house we built, for that entire time. While we made choices about the structure, the layout, and the interior and exterior options, our house is… just a house. What makes a house a home is what happens on the inside. This is the first of 5 blogs in a series called “Building a Home”.

Part 1 = LOVE

A few nights ago, I was home alone working in my office, when – all of a sudden – I heard what sounded like a car crashing through my garage door. The dog and I looked at each other like.., “What was that?” I actually called the police (OK, I’ll wait to continue until you stop laughing), but if you know me, you know one thing for sure, I wasn’t going out there alone (and neither was the dog).

The police observed our neighborhood, and then we inspected the outside of the garage door together. Everything looked fine – normal. Then the officers suggested that we go inside the garage to see if something fell or broke. Just to be safe, we entered the garage through the house instead of opening the door from outside. Once inside the garage, one of the officers noticed that a garage door spring had broken. He said, “I’ve heard that when those springs break, it sounds like a gun shot.”

Well, actually, it sounds like a car crashing through the garage door… which explains why I wasn’t going out there alone. It’s interesting to me how things can look so normal on the outside, yet the brittle nature of what’s happening on the inside can cause such damage. My wife Barb and I joke about how things just aren’t built to last. It’s been years since we’ve had any trouble with that garage door. It went about its daily routine until one day – BAM!

With social media providing the “Perfect” highlight reel (because no one really wants to share their bad news), we develop unrealistic expectations of how everything is “Supposed” to be. That can cause us to change or limit our behavior. Remember the Forrest Gump quote, “Life is like a box of chocolates… because you never know what you’re going to get”? Thankfully, love is not like a box of chocolates.., or is it?

Imagine giving your special someone a box of chocolates from last year. First of all, the expiration date alone would drive me crazy! Then, there is the condition of the chocolate inside the box. Is it fresh and soft, or is it stale and brittle? In much the same way, that is how love can feel in our own homes if we don’t put in the effort with our spouse or our kids.

Thankfully, love is a choice. In the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13, verses 4 through 7, tell us what love is and what love is not.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

What I find so interesting is that each description, each action, is a choice. Not a circumstance… not a situation, not a result, but an unconditional conscious choice. This is especially true of the behaviors talked about in a positive light… reminding us about what love “is”.

In our own homes, we could all be a little more patient, a little more kind, celebrate the truth, protect each other, trust each other, hope for the best in each other, and persevere as a family.

That brittle garage door spring resulted in a new garage door because the old door was cracked and damaged. The events of this week also gave me an opportunity to look at things differently. Thankfully, there wasn’t a car or a family member in the path when that spring broke. Maybe love is like a fresh box of chocolates, but not because of what we’re going to get. It’s about what we choose to give from within that truly matters.