Finding Your FAITH: Part 5

This is the final blog in a 5 part series about rediscovering and strengthening your faith. While we each grow up in a different environment, we all learn about traditions, family values, and cultural practices. We may even be raised in a household with specific religious beliefs. Then, as adults, we have the opportunity to make our own decisions about what we choose to believe based on all we’ve learned growing up.

That brings to mind a question whose answer could limit our behavior based on what’s happening around us. Is what we believe religion or faith? Religion is really more about rules and practices while faith reaches to the core of what you believe about your creation, your life, and even your own mortality. During challenging times, it’s common to question your faith by exploring what you truly believe. With the uncertain times we’re living in right now, I know I’m even exploring my own faith. I’m not sharing my thoughts and perspectives to praise or criticize anyone’s beliefs. I use my own road as an example of how to navigate the journey on your way to finding your faith. Over the next five months I want to encourage you to explore five unique elements of faith that will help you clarify what you believe and give you the confidence to live your life in genuine response to those beliefs.

Part 5: HOPE

Some of my fondest memories are of Christmas with family. Growing up, the holidays were filled with joy and laughter. Of course, that’s what happens when you get 16 cousins together on Christmas Eve. Add some great food, lots of cookies, that Strawberry Punch, and, oh yes, a visit from Santa. The evening usually ended with all of us filling the first few rows of pews for a Midnight Mass.

As my Dad’s parents got older, my Dad and his siblings took turns hosting Christmas Eve. In more recent years, with my siblings living in different places, Barb and I have hosted Christmas. This holiday tradition will continue in our family for generations. However, I will always fondly remember Christmas with my cousins.

What made it so special was partially the anticipation because we didn’t see them too often. We lived in the northwest suburbs of Chicago, and the other 12 cousins lived on the south side. We also found a way to put aside the challenges of the day to enjoy the opportunities we had to spend time together.

Toward the end of the evening, as we took our seats at church, it was tough to stay awake after such a crazy evening. Then, the choir would belt out “Joy to the World”, or some other Christmas song, and we’d again be energized. It’s probably been 30 years since we celebrated Christmas with all 16 cousins.

I realize that this year will not be a typical Christmas. Barb and I will spend a quiet Christmas Eve with my parents. It seems the global pandemic has made it more difficult to find joy. However, joy is not an external result. Rather, it’s an internal choice. How do we find joy in these times?

When we lived in Illinois, I loved going for a walk while it was snowing or just after a snowfall. The snow was so fresh that, with each step I took, it didn’t even crunch. There was an amazing lack of noise. It was so quiet as if the snow muffled every other sound around me. In that silence, I found peace. In our hectic lives, that seem even more so during the holidays, we rarely take time to seek out the silence.

However, peace is about more than quiet. It’s about calm. Like joy, peace too is a choice. I’ve heard people say, “You can’t have peace without war”. Well, I choose to think about that differently. I say, “You can’t have peace on the outside, until you have peace on the inside”.

The decisions we make, the anger and bitterness we keep, and the shame or regret that we can’t seem to let go. All of these things rob us of internal peace. External peace, or the lack of it, is a symptom of the lack of internal peace. How, in these chaotic times, do we find peace?

It’s possible through hope. With Christmas fast approaching, I find it challenging to talk about hope as we face so much uncertainty in the world. Yet, perhaps it’s the perfect time to talk about hope. The Christmas season is as much about hope now as it was more than 2,000 years ago. The culture, the political climate, and the struggles people faced then aren’t so different from what we’re experiencing now. People were hoping for a savior to bring peace into a chaotic world.

When we think of Christmas, we think of Jesus as a baby, but it’s what he did as an adult that truly changed the world. While the people of that day hoped He would replace their current leaders by becoming the new king of their land, they were surprised when He didn’t. Rather, he became a different kind of leader bringing people into a friendship with Him and ultimately a restored relationship with God.

For me, that internal peace became eternal peace when I put my trust and my hope in Jesus. Faith, as we have explored, begins with a strong Foundation regarding your beliefs and values. Then, it grows through your authentic relationships with God and the people around you. As your faith grows, you become inspired to create, to communicate, and to share your faith and your gifts with others. These opportunities present themselves as we trust God, and establish relationships and build trust with those around us. This process of finding our faith ultimately leads to hope.

More than 2,000 years ago, the people hoped Jesus would become their ruler. He has, but not within the government. Instead, He rules in the heart of each Christian (follower of Jesus Christ).

Today isn’t much different. We are each struggling with the circumstances of the day. However, the hope that we have can help bring joy and peace into our own hearts and into the lives of others. None of us is perfect, and we all fall short of the glory of God. The price of that imperfection is death. However, there is good news. Just as those people hoped 2,000 years ago, Jesus did come to save us all.

Faith says we have confidence and trust in God and Jesus. God, the creator of the universe, sent His son Jesus Christ to live a perfect life, and die on a cross as a sacrifice for all of us. His sacrifice restored our relationship with God, and we have hope for a future. Not just a future here on Earth, but of eternity in Heaven.

Hope is this optimistic attitude based on our own expectations or desires. Is it realistic to hope for things? Yes, as long as we truly believe they are possible. What are you hoping for this year? What are your hopes for the future?

I hope that this, my final blog, inspires you to find joy, peace, and hope. As I look to the next chapter of my work, I hope the book I’m about to release reaches lots of people with its message of how to navigate beyond perceived limitations. I hope that in-person learning will resume soon. I hope to return to full-time work as a facilitator and motivational speaker.

On a personal level, I hope for the health, safety, and success of my family and friends. I even hope that people I have yet to meet find joy, peace, and hope in their own lives.

As kids, we made Christmas lists of all that we wanted and wished for. Rather than wishing for things, consider putting your hope in Jesus. We celebrate His birth at Christmas. We reflect on His death and rejoice in His resurrection at Easter. He is alive, and wants to live in each of us. If you’re still hoping for a savior to bring peace into this chaotic world, consider placing your hope in Jesus.

Merry Christmas!

Building a Home – Part 5

We’ve lived in Arizona for almost two decades. We’ve been in the same house, a house we built, for that entire time. While we made choices about the structure, the layout, and the interior and exterior options, our house is… just a house. What makes a house a home is what happens on the inside. This is the fifth of 5 blogs in a series called “Building a Home”.

Part 5 = JOY

If I asked you to describe “Joy” in one sentence (without using Google), how would you describe it? My next question is… have you ever been accused of “stealing someone’s joy” or “sucking the joy out of a room”? I’ve had such comments directed at me in the past. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of those comments, you too know they can sting a little. Allowing others to define who we are can be a very limiting experience. What makes it so limiting, is how we choose to respond.

T. D. Jakes says, “It’s not the words we hear that destroy us. It’s the words we believe”.

That got me thinking about what people say. Unfortunately, many people are quick to judge and criticize, yet they’re usually the same people who refuse to accept feedback, no matter how true it is. Their judgment of others is typically based on that other person’s behavior, not his or her feelings. “Joy” is a feeling… an emotion. No matter how we look on the outside, we all have emotions on the inside.

Most emotions are based on responses to events or circumstances, but “Joy”… “Joy” is different. True joy is a choice you make regardless of the situation. I realize how crazy that sounds. However, in more ways than I can describe, I have learned that truth.

Take my vision for example. I could choose to be miserable, sit at home on the couch, collect disability, and think, “Oh, poor me… too bad I can’t see well, or drive, or…” However, I find “Joy” in my life instead. I love my family, my work, my friends, my hobbies, even though at times things are challenging for me.

For example, navigating airports can be a challenge. Yet, I’ve decided to treat it like a game. I may play, “Guess which Gate” to try and figure out where exactly my gate is from the security check point without asking for assistance (Of course, I need to win that game or I’ll miss my flight.). “Follow the Family” gives me a chance to find the right baggage carousel by following a family that also just got off the same plane I was on (Of course, that may mean a few stops along the way).

Is your home a place of joy? I encourage you to ask each person in your household to define “Joy”. Next, pay attention to which emotions are being expressed at home. Also, consider when and why those emotions are being expressed. I’m not suggesting for a moment that your home should be like Disneyland (the happiest place on earth). Life can be an emotional roller coaster of highs and lows based on events and unexpected situations that can bend our emotional resolve. It’s normal to feel different emotions at different times. Once you understand your own emotions, you can focus more on how the people around you are feeling – good or bad. Then, you are better equipped to help them handle what’s going on.

There are those who adopt the “victim” mentality in life. They are the same people who will blame you for robbing them of their joy. Based on some recent medical experiences, I’ve had the rare opportunity to watch others handle unthinkable circumstances with grace and… joy. They aren’t blaming anyone for taking their joy. Instead they’re choosing to find joy where they are.

The other observation I’ve made is that joy isn’t a “one-size-fits-all” emotion. Joy doesn’t always need to be expressed in pure delight or exuberance – though it can. Sometimes joy can be equally, if not more, powerful when expressed as being pleased or content.

After much thought and consideration, I am choosing not to let my past accusers define who I am. Besides, they missed the key to joy anyway. No one can give it to you or take it from you. The absence of joy is bitterness. The presence of joy helps each of us to see our family, friends, co-workers, and the situations in our own lives in a positive light. First, in the comfort of your own home, find your joy. Then, expand your reach and share that joy by helping others to find theirs.