This is the third of 7 blogs, each exploring a different element of a successful marriage. Each of these blogs will include a biblical reference that you can look up on your own followed by a comparison between the elements of marriage and the components of a sailboat. Each element also begins with the letter “C” resulting in the name for this blog series.

Part 3: COMMITMENT (The Mast)
Colossians 3:23-24

In the center of everything that happens is the mast. It is mounted to the hull, and it holds all of the other components in place. By now, you probably see where I’m headed with this one. Commitment to your marriage is also a commitment to God. Honoring each commitment you make to each other is critical for success. Simply put, be “THERE” for each other.

When you think about whom you serve, your attitude about that service changes. For example, children serve their parents, military men and women serve their country, workers serve their company’s customers, and a pastoral staff serves its congregation.

That’s the simple view, but in reality, we are called to serve Jesus in all we do. While that may seem clear for children, soldiers, workers, and even a pastoral staff, it’s often overlooked when it comes to husbands and wives.

This is the area of responsibility where so many couples struggle. It’s our responsibility to be THERE for each other. You can wait days to clean your house, and the result will still be a clean house. It just takes longer to clean. In a very similar way, if you aren’t really there for your spouse, the relationship will begin to slip away, and then it will take much longer to recover.

I am a hopeful romantic. I believe that with the attention God calls each of us to give to our marriage, and more specifically to our spouse, marriages can be strengthened by refining five key behaviors:

Trustworthy = Philippians 2:4
Remember, trust is earned over time, but can be lost in an instant.
What can you do to increase the level of trust your spouse has for you?

Honest = Ephesians 4:2
You can be honest, and still remain gentle and kind as you express yourself.
In what areas can you become even more honest with your spouse?

Encouraging = Proverbs 3:13
First, listen to understand. Then, take action if necessary.
In what ways can you become more emotionally supportive of your spouse?

Responsible = Proverbs 15:22
Much of the stress in a relationship is caused by what I call unknown disappointment. To really address this area, an open, non-judgmental conversation will help each of you clarify an area where you would like your spouse to become more responsible.
In what areas of your relationship can you become more responsible?

Energetic = Ecclesiastes 9:9
We’ve all experienced long days, but no one says, “I wish I spent more time at work”. However, I’ve heard lots of people say, “I wish I spent more time with my wife… my kids… my parents”. Like a breeze, we’re only here for a moment, so I encourage you to make it a priority to spend an energetic moment with your spouse each day.
When could you be more energetic while spending time with your spouse?

I encourage you and your spouse to each answer the above five questions privately. Then, to gain valuable perspective, have a conversation with your spouse where you each can share your answers.

Look for opportunities to strengthen each commitment you have made to your spouse. Your commitment to your marriage is about truly being THERE for each other.