When I got my first pair of glasses, I was thrilled. Mom and I arrived home, and I ran up the driveway to show my Dad. On the way up the driveway, I was running so fast that I fell forward… landing on my face and breaking my new glasses. I know… not a very good example of balance.

When you hear the word “balance”, what comes to mind? Maybe it’s the financial miracle of balancing your checkbook (yes kids, some of us still use a check book). Maybe it’s the beauty and grace a gymnast displays while balancing on that tiny beam. Maybe it’s the balance a martial artist displays when securing a stable fighting stance. Maybe it’s the fearless feat of balancing on a high wire without a net (Who’s Annette?… Thanks to Mike and Eric for the inspiration for that joke). Maybe it’s the well balanced mental toughness athletes around the world display when experiencing (in my best Keith Jackson voice) “The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat”. Maybe the true power of balance is really all these things.

This is the first of 5 blogs, each exploring a different element of balance.

Part 1: STABILITY

With the Seahawks playing in Super Bowl XLIX here in Phoenix this weekend, I am reminded of an experience I had years ago while teaching a class on a little island Northwest of Seattle. We were in this beautiful ballroom on the second floor of an old wooden hotel. As I was talking to the group, I noticed that the chandeliers started swinging (With my limited vision, for something to distract me visually, it’s got to be a pretty major visual). I was so distracted by the swinging chandeliers that I stopped talking. In the silence I heard the ice in the water pitchers rattling. Then I felt the floor begin to shake beneath my feet. A participant stood up and calmly said, “Earthquake”.
Everyone got up to leave. I followed the group, and was the last one out of the room. I’ll never forget walking down that flight of stairs. Not seeing well, stairs can be kind of tricky. I use my feet to feel the edge of each stair. Not an easy task when the whole building is moving. I so badly wanted to grab the railings … but I couldn’t. The walls were moving from side to side, so I had nothing to hold on to. When I got to the parking lot, the ground was still shaking. When it stopped – I was still shaking. Yet, I was grateful that we were all safe.
This all happened in less than a minute. It’s the only time I’ve experienced an actual earthquake. Yet, we hear about them around the world. We are reminded of how real and devastating these earthquakes can be. However, I wonder about the earthquakes in our own lives. Everything is going fine, and then something happens that shakes the very foundation of what we thought was solid and stable.

When it comes to stability in our lives, most people associate it with finances. However, the term “financially stable” doesn’t mean “rich” or “wealthy”. It really means that you have a clear picture of where you are. You know where all of your money is, and what you’re doing with it. There is a balance between what you’re earning and what you’re spending. Having a budget, and sticking to it, can help a lot in this area.

Another type of stability is our work/life balance. I know, sometimes it feels like we work just to maintain our financial stability, but that can cost us in other areas. When we lived in Chicago, I commuted to my job downtown. As we moved farther away from the city to improve our financial stability, my work/life balance began to slip. I took a bus, a train, and a walk just to get to the office. My round trip commute time was 4 hours and 30 minutes each day… 5 days a week. On a typical day I left the house at 6:15 AM, and didn’t return home until 6:45 PM. When I worked overtime, I’d get home around 10:00 PM, just in time to go to sleep and do it all over again.

With my current role, I am blessed to work from home when I’m not on the road speaking or conducting a workshop. I can fly to Boston (I needed to mention the other Super Bowl XLIX team, the Patriots) to teach for a week in about the time I spent commuting for one day of work years ago. While I still struggle with being away from my family, my wife Barb is quick to point out that I’m actually home more often, I have more dinners, go to more school events, and enjoy more quality time with my family now than I ever could before.

Still another type of stability is the give and take of friendship. Due to my limited vision, I need to ask for help on a regular basis. It may be to read small print, get to an appointment, or find the right aisle in the grocery store. However, I am careful to stabilize my requests. In other words, I make sure that I do things for others as well. On that balance sheet, I try to do more for others than is done for me. For example, if someone gives me a ride to an appointment just a few miles away, I may take them to lunch. It’s less expensive than a cab, and it provides a nice opportunity to spend some time with a friend or family member.

Back in our younger days, my friend Neal had a back injury, but he needed the ceilings in his condo painted. While an unlikely candidate, I painted them for him because I could (or at least I hoped I could as I’d never done that before). Barb painted all the edges, and I rolled the rest as Neal watched in disbelief (probably laughing and thinking, “OK, I’m letting a blind guy paint my condo.”). Barb and I did a nice job, and we still enjoy painting projects in our own house now.

Of course, there is physical stability. The balance of what we eat and how we exercise. My Nonna used to say, “Jimmy, a little bit is OK. Too much – not OK.” It’s about moderation. I like to think of it as an entree vs. a buffet. First of all, the fewer calories I consume, the fewer hours I need to spend on the treadmill. Also, when I read a menu, my choices are clear. The buffet is too much guess work for me. I find myself standing there thinking, “Is that mac and cheese or scalloped potatoes? Are those green beans or asparagus?” (yeah, when I’m at a buffet, Forrest Gump’s voice is in my head because I never know what I’m going to get.)

Then there is emotional stability. This doesn’t mean we’re always happy and upbeat. It also doesn’t give us license to be bitter or play the victim when things don’t go our way. In my life, I could have let the bitterness of not seeing well destroy me, but instead I focused on what I could do rather than what I couldn’t.

Finally, there is spiritual stability – belief in God no matter the circumstances. We will celebrate the good times with praise and navigate the difficult times through prayer. When Barb and I got married; my father-in-law said something at our reception that I remember to this day. “Jim & Barb, rather than wish you well, I’ll say that I know you’ll do well because you have three things going for you: Your faith in God, your love for each other, and your sense of humor”.

There will still be those emotional earthquakes that shake each of us. However, when we strengthen every area of our stability, we can maintain our balance, even when we can’t grab a railing.